Table scraps:

♣HOW MUCH DID our ancestors stink? Pretty bad: Personal grooming, such as it was, focused entirely on appearances. People washed their faces and hands sometimes but refused to immerse their entire bodies except on doctors' orders.

♣TOO MANY PEOPLE don't know how to use quotations. Luckily, someone has put together a "gallery" of "misused" quotations to point out what should be the obvious "shortfalls" in other people's grammar.

♣IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS by accessing the internal computer of a Coke machine. Instructions (which I haven't tried myself, but plan to) are here.

♣THE INTERVIEW PORTION is simple. One contestant last year was asked, "What is your favorite color?" She responded, "chicken," and everyone laughed. A beauty pageant for mentally challenged women draws much enthusiasm, and some protest.

♣THOSE WHO LIVE here say the town has never before received such a powerful economic boost. Barceloneta, a small island in Puerto Rico where Viagra is made, enjoys a boost while giving old men a boost of their own.

♣WELL, HERE'S AN offer that's hard to refuse.

♣ANOTHER FUN GOOGLE bomb: Google the word "failure" and check out the first result. (And note the second -- the left is still ahead of the Google bomb game, but the right is quickly catching up.)

♣WHAT'S BETTER THAN a guy with an accordian playing old political jingles? Actually, don't answer that.

Posted by Jason Feifer at December 20, 2004 12:03 AM