Table scraps:

♣THESE GUYS MUST be picking wax out of the most uncomfortable of places for weeks. And yet, there they are -- on what I assume is a Japenese game show (video) in which two men play rock-paper-scissors, and the loser gets a bucket of hot wax dumped on him. (via)

♣MAYBE IT'S OLD news to everyone, but I was just told about this great rendition of the famous photograph of Lee Harvey Oswald being shot. Hilarious.

♣ARE MEN REALLY this desperate and pathetic? A so-called dating expert has actually suggested that men pick up girls with a hand puppet. But if you think that's sad, check out some of his calmer material -- like, say, "Top Five Conversation Topics For a First Date with Single Women." Apparently men are so damn afraid of their date that they can't think of anything to say. I just imagine some poor schlub nervously unfolding a piece of paper, carefully studying it, then looking up at his date and saying, "So, do you have any brothers or sisters?" Smooth.

♣"...AN EDITOR TOOK me aside and told me -- this is an absolutely true quote -- 'you used to be funnier.' That was more than 30 years ago, and since then, hardly a week has gone by during which somebody has not told me that I used to be funnier. At least he knows it. Dave Barry has finally penned his final column, years after he stopped being funny. Too bad even this one was a snoozer.

♣A NEW ONLINE magazine called Sonic Slang has picked up my friend Joe's comic strip Duck & Monkey. Now, everyone has another way to view his stuff -- and really, the more the better.

♣BECAUSE MAKING FUN of the color-coded terror alert system never gets old, here's the Sesame Street version. (Via Andy Martello, a new addition to the blogroll.)

Posted by Jason Feifer at January 3, 2005 10:16 AM