Fear of Sex, part VI: The early bases

In this week's episode of Fear of Sex, the authors of the 1922 non-classic "Ethical Sex Relations, or The New Eugenics" let us know that puppy love is for puppies. For, when humans have courted long enough to engage in the huge emotional burden known as the "first kiss," why, anything could happen. But if that "anything" doesn't include marriage, then you're probably going to hell.

Page: 82
Chapter title: Courtship
Section title: Dangers During Courtship

“The first kiss” is universal, at least in democratic America, at or soon after a lover is accepted. In America, therefore, it seems almost useless to advise that such indulgence be tabooed during the period of “engagement” and before marriage. But may there not be danger that all shall not end with chaste salutes? Long and uninterrupted periods of secluded companionship are all so common in this land of freedom that it is amazing how young ladies safely arrive at the wedding day, when we also consider the amount of rascality that is abroad in the world. If they fully realized the large element of sensuality liable to be aroused in the love of even the best men, they would tremble at the risks they run.

Far be it from us to curtail the enjoyments of that delightful time in life which elapses between the betrothal and the marriage. We have no desire to set up as a severe moralist. It is difficult to draw the line in matters of such delicacy, where there may be the best form of Platonic love and such true purity of thought and feeling as may certainly exist in the breasts of the most ardent. But it behooves maidens to be on their guard. When the daily press teems with details of sad experiences of the betrayed and abandoned, a word of caution cannot be amiss.

The love of a good woman is often so utterly unselfish as to cause her to neglect her own safety. When she has accepted a suitor is has been because she has set up an idol of chivalry and nobility of character in her heart, to whom it is actually painful to refuse anything. He indeed is baser than he knows who takes any advantage of this pure and chaste devotion; and to all young ladies we would say, repel your lover gently, skillfully avoiding too ardent caresses, and you will increase not only his respect but his infatuation for you, while you keep yourself safe and both happy.

So, uh, does that mean no sex on a first date? What if she brings a chaperone?

Posted by Jason Feifer at January 4, 2005 08:14 AM