Table scraps:

♣MY FRIEND MARK writes and records some great understated acoustic songs, but this weekend I became smitten with one in particular called "Bright lights, big city." It reminds me a lot of the Lucksmiths, a great little band from Australia. Anyway, take a listen.

♣"YOU'RE AN ASHCROFT! No, you're the Ashcroft!" Without explanation, profanity on overseas flights is replaced with the tight-ass's last name. It's fitting: He sure is an Ashcroft.

♣A MESSAGE TO teenagers from Laura Bush:"Though erotically sensitive just like girl nipples, boy nipples are NOT privates – yet. But my husband and I are working hard to instill a sense of sexualized body shame so acute, that one day soon boys will learn that their nipples are dirty little things that will get them – just like you! – arrested when they strut around topless at Myrtle Beach. America is not some big, old licentious San Tropez and it's time all of you out there realized it!" (Alright, so it's not real. But here's to abstinence-only education satire and more satire!)

♣IS THIS PHOTOGRAPHY series, "Homeland Security," actually the self-proclaimed "procession of tableaus that confront the power and impotence of firepower," or is it a bunch of naked guys that all look like Nick Nolte? Either way, it's worth a look.

♣I LENT MY mentronome to a friend about two years ago and forgot to ask for it back, and then last night I wanted one and discovered -- ta-da! -- an online metronome. How great!

♣WHAT TO DO when something really bad about you shows up in the local paper? How about try to buy every single copy so nobody else can?

♣IT MIGHT SOUND silly to read about MatisYahu, the Hasidic Jew rapper/reggae artist. But seriously, check it out.

Posted by Jason Feifer at February 28, 2005 12:07 AM