Table scraps:

♣SALEM, 1692: "BURN the witches!" Tallahassee, 2005: "Tax the witches!"

♣THE MAKER OF this industrial shredder knows exactly how to sell its product: Let people see it shred cool stuff! Computers? Yeah. Big tires? Yeah. Medical waste? Of course.

♣TWO BILLBOARDS THAT were destined to be together.

♣SLOWLY, WE EVOLVE: "Across the country, the number of hunters declined by more than 1 million from 1991 to 2001, or 7.3 percent, according to the Census Bureau and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The drop was even greater in the West: 9.6 percent," according to the AP.

♣DO MILITANT PATRIOTS plan this stuff out, or does it just come naturally to them? A ninth grader stormed out of class recently because, as part of National Foreign Language Week, the Pledge of Allegiance was being read in other languages. "This is America, and we got soldiers at war," said 15-year-old Patrick Linton. "When you're saying the Pledge in a different language which nobody understands, that's not OK." You know, crazy unheard of languages like, oh, Spanish and French.

♣WHEN I FIRST saw this photo, I thought, "Whoa, great Photoshop job!" And then I realized, whoa, I am so pathetically influenced by modern technology. What is that, a baby lizard? Come on, Mother Nature can grow that all by itself. No Photoshop required. Right? Right? That isn't photoshopped, right? Right.

♣HOW TO GET a date online? One girl makes a bold pledge: "I will make you lunch and bring it to your place of employment. I swear. Girl scout's honor." Line up, men!

♣CLEVER LITTLE JIGSAW puzzle.

Posted by Jason Feifer at March 11, 2005 10:59 AM