Table scraps:

♣HERE'S A CASE of some serious hat-hair: A Jamaican barber Darain Housen has been styling his hair to look like a hat for the last 20 years. He knew it was a success when he wore it for the first time to a party, and people bought him beer. "Mi an dem fi go a di party but di three of them had caps an' mi had none so mi get two mirror one behind mi and di other in front of mi an' mi trim mi hair like a cap an' go a di dance," said Housen. (And that quote is no joke, by the way.)

♣"WILL! YOU! GO! to! prom! with! me? (And dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance?)" If I were 17 and saw this video, I'd totally go to prom with this girl. I can't imagine what it would be like, but I'm sure it'd be better than my actual prom.

♣I USUALLY KILL creepy bugs by sucking them up with a vaccum cleaner, and apparently I'm not alone. Sharper Image is selling a "Bug Vacuum" for this exact purpose. The only downside, to me, is the last word in its description: "Vacuum up spiders and other creepy-crawlies with arm's-length ease and return them to nature — unharmed." Unharmed? Screw that. I want those bastards dead.

♣WHAT'S MORE UNFORTUNATE: A couple just had their 16th child, and the father said more could be on the way ("If the lord wants to give us some she will accept them, he said of his wife), or that every kid's name starts with the letter J (Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6; Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James, 4; Justin, 2, Jackson Levi, 1; and Johannah, newborn.)? Update: Daniel Radosh finds that these baby-makers have gotten far too much media attention.

♣TRY AS YOU might, you'll never be as good at air guitar as this guy.

♣HERE'S THE CONCLUSION no dog lover (including myself) wants to hear: "There's no convincing evidence I'm aware of, from any reputable behaviorist or psychologist, that suggests dogs can replicate human thought processes: use language, think in narrative and sequential terms, understand human minds, or share humans' range of emotions." Example: When a dog is left alone and tears up the house, it's not because the dog is expressing displeasure. It's simply freaked out. (But if you'd prefer to think otherwise, perhaps you'll like the comic strip Animals Have Problems Too.)

♣PARENT'S NEW FEAR: What's a "camel toad"?

Posted by Jason Feifer at October 13, 2005 12:41 PM