And they live happily now, and after

I was watching television today and saw a commercial for the DVD release of some recent horror flick. "Wolf Creek," maybe? Anyway, it started out with some pretty girl saying something innocuous like, “All I want to do is sit back, relax and enjoy this vacation.” Then, of course, there’s a shot of her at a window and some scary attacker crashes through, and the rest of the commercial features hell breaking loose.

I watched this and thought about how weird it would be if, in that window scene, she just pulled out a gun and shot the intruder. Just: bang, dead. She’d say, “Jeez, that guy could have really ruined my vacation,” and the rest of the commercial would feature her and her friends hanging out and having fun.

Then it occurred to me: I’ve just come up with the perfect advertising campaign for the gun lobby. Imagine if they put together mock trailers of real movies, but always featuring the victim/hero quickly killing off the evil bad guy before anything truly bad happens. Hockey Mask Jason appears at the campground for the first time and -- bang! -- he’s a menace no more. The first person gets caught by the “Saw” guy, pulls out his handgun and -- boom! boom! boom! -- says, “What the hell was this guy about to do to me?”

Then the tagline could be, like, “Guns: Bad for horror movies, good for your life.”

I have mixed feelings about gun laws, but I guarantee this would be a popular campaign. NRA, you totally owe me for this.

Posted by Jason Feifer at June 22, 2006 02:15 PM