Romancing the stone

I don't know these people. Pic from here.

If I have the time, I can read the Sunday New York Times almost cover to cover. But there’s one section I always skip: Vows. Not that it’s much of a surprise; Vows isn’t exactly typical male reading material. But really now: Who wants to read a straight-up story about a happy couple being... happy? What a snoozer. Wake me when one of them gets a kidney transplant and mysteriously changes personalities.

But on my way to Minnesota last week, I picked up a Detroit Free Press during an hour-long layover in Motown and found exactly the ingredient Vows is missing. It’s this: happy couples being happy... and icky.

The Freep has a regular feature called “Love Story,” which highlights random couples and recounts their courtship. Maybe it’s normally as dry and lame as Vows, but on Thursday, when I was there, it was amazing. Here, in Tracy’s voice, is how Fred, then an old, estranged friend, got back in touch with her and declared his love:

On my way to work one morning, I noticed a lottery ticket with a number 106 stuck to the window of my car. It was used as a note pad and said, 'I'm going to get with you.' I had the ticket run through a lottery dealer to find out where it had been purchased, and realized that it was at the party store next to Fred's work. The number 106 was Fred's license plate on his car. I was so excited and knew it had to be him.

Swoon! Then he gave her a wedgie, and bought her a heart-shaped can of sardines. Pay close attention, Vows editor. We need less Manhattan, more Poughkeepsie. Then, by golly, Vows would be the first thing I’d turn to on Sunday.

Posted by Jason Feifer at November 6, 2006 10:43 AM