Table Scraps:

♣SORRY ABOUT THE light posting last week. It was a madhouse of work. This week is looking to be a little easier, so don't give up on me just yet.

♣DON'T WORRY, REPUBLICANS. A Harvard psychologist has some encouraging, research-supported words for you: "When partisans imagine being devastated when their candidate loses, they focus on how they will feel when they think about it," he told the WashPost. "What they fail to realize is how seldom they think about it."

♣A TIP TO those trying to evade arrest: If you're guilty of something and you post a confession on MySpace, it doesn't much matter if you've refused to talk with the police. Oh, and if you happen to be guilty of driving drunk, crashing and killing two friends, it probably doesn't help your cause if you write in that confession, "Both of them knew what they were getting into."

♣SEE? NOW HERE'S someone who was paying attention to the above lesson. Instead of going on MySpace to declare that he had a screwdriver up his ass, he gladly told police. (The most amusing part of the story is how everyone passed the buck on removing it.)

♣AND ONE MORE from the Dumb Criminal Department: Counterfeit bills aren't very convincing if they're only one-sided.

♣YOU LIKE THAT two-dollar bill your uncle gave you when you were seven? So does the rest of America.

♣NO DOUBT, SOME religious group is turning this commercial into a parable on the importance of parenting.

♣Q: SO THE small talk became smaller? A: Yeah, a lot of things became smaller. Ted Haggard's male lover tells all.

♣IF YOU LIVE in Boston and are dying to know about the inherent value of the city's tallest building, I've got you covered in this month's Boston Magazine.

♣AND THEN, THERE'S this.

Posted by Jason Feifer at November 13, 2006 09:38 AM