Backlog from 12/02 - 7/03

(back to pic of the day)

Make sure to check for color vision deficiency.
Great new David Sedaris story this week in the New Yorker.
Best singing baby ever.
This is a fantastic, imaginative little game. Just remember, it's all in the clicking.
For $30, you too can hear those long-desired words, "Honey, Lorenzo Lamas is on the phone."
For the political junkies: how was the war won? Turncoats and really, really bad commanders.
A great illustration of just how tiny tiny tiny tiny we are.
"I'm going outside to make out, want to join me?" and other great pick-up lines.
What crawled up there and died? Oh, the just guy who tried to rob the store.
Jesse Ventura's advice to Arnold: screw the script.
The Washington Post was laugh-out-loud funny: everyone's running for gov, and who praised Gigli?
Team of smart people decide to do something dumb.
Dog survives Nazi-like animal control gas chamber.
Polly want a burglar?
Mad cows aren't the only ones fighting. You're next.
After this election, California is screwed. It's Arnold vs. Gary Coleman vs. Larry Flynt.
The voice of "I'm sorry, the number you have called is not in service..." died last week.
Golf fans are really starting to use their heads.
Potter? Oh, come on Harry, I don't even know her!
Larry Flynt calls for a day of prayer -- to pray for the death of Bill O'Reilly.
German summer camp aims to curb Internet addiction in kids.
I think i may have posted this before: opera poopy baby.
The world braces itself for the Great Fish Catch Hoax.
Liberia and its cross-dressing killers.
And from the 'What was he thinking?' department...
This article seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? Not that i'm complaining, but...
Prepare yourself for doggie day care.
Call it the moth-er of all headaches.
The true history of the zine.
The dead in India are getting restless.
There's a reason this water tastes like crap...
At the Sauna World Championship, do they ask if it's "Hot enough for ya?"
A very close member of Hitler's, uh, body politik is going up for sale.
Brooklyn is for lovers... rodent lovers.
See the cost of war. See the cost of war rise.
Because dogs need to look cool, too.
This lady is evil.
Take my wife, please. Highest bidder wins.
I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T's house of illusions is too freaky!
The Onion on how Gigli could be any better.
The Pentagon had a really bad idea, then they took it back.
(but it begs the question: what other wacky predictions are up for bid?)
The best thing since sliced bread? Well, when was that?
The legal ramifications of the f-word.
When they say not to pet the animals, don't pet them.
The music industry sings its new motto: sue all the world, sue all the children.
Couple gets electric in the bedroom.
Ancient Roman cosmetics found.
Why sons of dictators always end up so lousy.
This guy had seen one too many bank robberies for his tastes.
Why don't D.A.R.E. officers just show kids stories like this?
Dave Barry vs. the Cheez-its.
Japanese politicians vote about fighting, then fight.
Strangely interactive, strangely transfixing.
And so ends the tale of the dog-eating fish.
Here's the winner of the classiest negative advertising campaign.
So no, wait, tell us what you really think.
Turns out, nobody was hunting 'bambi'.
The shady world of celebrity reputation fixers.
The Onion mocks Maryland, and Maryland responds.
Shortest video game ever. (arrows move, space bar punches)
A common chemical turns oysters into hermaphrodites.
Good piece about people going gaa-gaa for American Idol.
This sounds like the most insane, angry restaurant review ever.
Nurse accidentally performs a bris on a baby girl's foot.
This man wins the Worst Insanity Defense Plea Ever award.
Remember that rumored Japanese fashion fad of faux-see-through clothes? Well, now there's this.
Someone is selling t-shirts with random friendster profiles on them. Sounds like, uh, a great investment.
Flying underpants cause car accident.
The Earl of Sandwich is making sandwiches.
Who knew that tongue piercings attract lightening?
Helvetica vs. arial in a font-fight to the finish.
Staahhpaaa baggahllaa hmmah frahhnh?
Idaho's new plan for fame: get Tony Blair over for a visit.
Americans are picking up and moving to Canada.
Zimbabwe's rent-a-corpse program is no more.
Yes! Pizza prevents cancer! Yesssssssss!
Time for everyone to learn some cell manners.
The FBI is apparently keeping us safe from the literate.
"I am born naked and the church wants me to be wearing pants."
What could the answer to this possibly be?
Burning bushes, explained.
Want to be a hack for Fox Sports? Just pony up a lot of cash.
Cows are literally farting themselves to death.
Need a little boost? Try the butt bra.
Why can't we tickle ourselves? This is why.
It'll be a touchdown for hate when Rush joins the ESPN team.
This guy is a jerk! (re: first item)
Anyone in the market for an air guitar?
Great gotcha piece about the Bush administration's contradicting explanations of the Iran-Niger fiasco.
I don't know if I've posted this David Sedaris story before, but that's ok. It's worth a second post.
Man gets run over by the New York subway, and survives.
There must be better ways than this to fake your own death.
Mars hasn't been this close to us in 50,000 years.
Pop? Soda? Coke? What do people say? Well, now we know.
Now we know why principal Rooney was so into Ferris.
The general public answers the big questions.
Massive blob explained!
Pat Robertson thinks that Jesus loves blood diamonds.
Somewhat like the children's song, sans the fly: a woman swallows a roach, and then a fork.
This game is a lot harder than it first seems, believe you me.
Hey mosquitos, the phone's for you.
The man who will be speaking for Joe Lieberman, appropriately enough, is named Gobush.
The New York Times on relationships: opposites don't attract and women downplay their pasts.
Little boy gets hit for giving a parrot a dirty mouth.
The banana may be going the way of the do-do bird.
It might not be long before your toothbrush and new lawn chair are watching you.
You know your punk band is old when you're marketing to your fans' babies.
As a mutant, would Princess Di be slinging webs of gold? Time will tell.
Find out how popular your name is. (and read about why)
It is so sad it had to take this to make MSNBC realize they had a bigot on their network.
Report: video games don't take away from studies.
I scream, you scream, we all scream at the idea of beer flavored ice cream.
Car plows through 20 cyclists.
Sims turns people into, well, Sims.
This White House isn't conservative, but for a price, it'll be compassionate.
Welcome to the new CIA: the citizen's intelligence agency.
Is current rock music killing the bassists?
He must get some great expressions.
The quotes from Arnold in this woefully short story are pure gold.
The world became a little less sexier this week.
Crazy hot-dog eating guy wins again.
Welcome to the museum, don't let it fall on you.
One small step towards finding another Earth. Giant leap still pending.
Is it a whale? Is it seaweed? No, it's a giant 40-foot mass of mystery!
Ran-dom-head-lines-sung-to-song, do-da, do-da.
A vote for Mohammad Rashed al-Hefaiti is a vote for beer.
Man makes sure a telemarketing company knows he's doing a-ok.
It is heartening to know that this site is still up. (have your sound on)
A friend of mine got published on McSweeney's. Very, very cool.
Now here's how to fly the friendly skies!
A touching film of bunny love. (have your sound on)
Fun, clever Arkanoid clone.
En masse, virgins descend upon Las Vegas.
Man survives by drinking sun rays, and the occasional glass of water.
Baseball would be so much better if it was played like this.
It's confirmed: i officially suck at riddles. If you're good, though, there's money in it.
Pretty cute game, and a great waste of time.
Neat idea for a collection: photo booth strips.
Don't forget to sign up with the national do-not-call list.
See ya, Strom. And please, take all that hatred with you to the grave.
News flash to Saudi Arabia: your women are people, too.
Looking for that special someone? What about that special incarcerated someone?
The Supreme Court finally makes some supreme common sense.
Cheating husband made the wrong call.
They want to see your ticket, your ID, and your naughty bits.
A sneak peek at Dubya's lamo-o reelection website.
How is this an even remotely useful feature?
Men violently attack rabbits, and catch rabbit fever.
Delusional man and his daughter escape a state-full of poison gas.
Belle & Sebastian album cover spoofs.
The short crime career of one very dumb man.
The dangers of meditating in a big tree.
One man. One bottle of Tobasco sauce. Who will win?
Sex tips from Donald Rumsfeld.
Wait, who invited Osama to the Prince's birthday party?
Nine days old, and he's already seen AC/DC live. Whoa.
The Man can't keep this 6-year-old down.
A university has granted this 13-year-old a diploma.
A landlord decided to evict this 102-year-old.
Phew! It's good they took those gun props. Wouldn't want anyone to stage a battle!
"Wily males often creep up behind unsuspecting females and quickly mate with them by surprise"
Watch this. No, seriously. You won't want to, but stick with it.
Oh, tatopotatopotato.
Great comic strip for the English major geeks among us.
Go in for surgery, walk out with a dead bug in your chest.
Papal bowling!
Really, really, really, really funny speech by Will Ferrell.
The Bush administration is changing science to cover itself.
How much would you hate to have this thing in your home?
We interrupt this educational broadcast for some hardcore porn.
Someone should have taken a head count at this party.
Man was literally scared to death by a ghost movie.
The man who survived seven major disasters just lucked out again.
Riot at the elementary school graduation!
Top reasons why lists in magazines suck.
Meet the guy whose life goal is to be quoted. A lot.
The McSting turned into a big McMistake.
The government wants to blow up your computer.
It's a ratty time to be a rat.
An 80-year-old woman is pregnant with her second child.
Kid's get-rick-quick scheme involves selling his body parts.
Company pays homeless man with pizza.
This guy's a jerk!
Marathon runner sets record for the slowest run.
Jason Mewes changes rehab centers to avoid fans.
Kid bites teacher, teacher bites back.
Women's upset that she has stolen breasts.
Entertaining time-killing sniper flash game.
Learn all about those crazy loopy beserkrs!
This is sort of disturbing, but interesting: what happens to a dead body?
Man breaks into a house, gets shot, and wins the right to sue.
Don't tell ma the babysitter's dead, but tell all the neighborhood kids!
Now on e-bay: a bunch of toys, complete with someone's life story.
Weapons of mass destruction? Why, they're right here!
Jackass frat boys steal campus pet and eat it.
Matrix: Reloaded banned in Egypt for being too religious.
You know what really gets fish going? That's right: porn.
Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny art.
Companies really don't want you to cash in their rebates.
AOL struck an unholy deal to force newscasters to promote them.
This is absurd. If you're paying the money, at least be allowed some pleasure.
An angry waiter served up a dose of revenge.
The end of the world as we know it is now at 50/50 odds.
After his job interview, the police also had a few questions for him.
The RIAA makes me want to hate music. They just sued an innocent kid for his life savings.
Sometimes, boats come ashore. And other times, $2.4 million in cocaine does.
I don't even like boxing, but this was just a great, sad, disturbing article.
Scientist is giving his body to hungry, hungry maggots.
Crazy trucks!
"As long as I'm doing God's work, it doesn't matter how many people I execute," says this charming fellow.
Teen fined $352 for not filing her $3.16 tax return.
So much for individuality.
Call her FrankenJulia.
A highway for bikes?
Sewage processing company issues statement: Finding Nemo should be called Grinding Nemo.
Veil-wearing woman must show her face to get a license.
Dis bom iz gunna bloe up, so be carful!
Pretty clever version of what happened to Zelda after the first game.

For those who thought glow-in-the-dark condoms were actually a good idea, here's a shocker.
The man with the handcuffs isn't trying to be sexy.
Dubya being impressed by the obvious.
Yo quiero an original idea.
Remember, turn your computer off before casting a witch spell.
She got a little closer to her dead great-grandfather than she intended to.
When in a shark tank, swim like the sharks do: naked.
Beards. No, really. Just beards.
Scientists make Spiderman gloves.
Sex, lies and Uday's psycho home videos.
The best way to follow-up losing your job is by winning the lottery.
What do you get when you combine 70 Playstation2s? A supercomputer.
McDonalds insists there is only one Ronald McDonald. No, I mean, really. They do.
For this man, an appearance on the 'Kiss Cam' means he kisses his life goodbye.
Ever have that dream when you're falling? I wonder if he did.
Polar bear tries to eat semi-surfaced submarine.
Woman finds 18-year-old needle in her back.
Masks for the intense welder.
This is hands down the funniest series of mock-cybersex conversations.
The Language Police are out to teach us somethin' proper.
A beautiful marriage of hangman and French food.
Mmm... a good meal with a side order of justice.
In place of a groom, woman marries her mother-in-law.
Is it War of the Worlds, starring SARS?
Bruce created an Almighty pain in the ass for a few unfortunate people.
Want a free Cold Fusion bar? Mmmmm, cold fusion...
Program tries to get rid of SPAM, but misses the S, A and M.
Moaning woman may soon be bemoaning her legal woes.
Physics vs. water finally takes a turn.
Long-lost relatives suffering unstoppable sexual attraction: real gross, or a medical condition?
Michael Jackson wanders into a Congressman's office to request Taco Bell.
In Florida, a spit wad is the legal equal of a deadly missile.
Note to self: if bitten by snake, call 911 instead of the wife and boss.
Now you too can bastardize classic literature... with your very own name!
Nothing like takin' the ol' foster kid for a drag race, huh?
Basically, this is an exchange of junk mail for junk food: mints and popcorn.
James Brown ain't wakin' up in a cold sweat no more. Hey!
The science of ghosts.
Conman actually convinced women that having sex with him was the cure for cancer.
In Manila, Soilent Green is coming out of the faucets.
Danger! Danger! Bad hair style being copied! Danger! Danger!
Girl auctions off her virginity to pay for school.
Parts of the world are starving. But in North Carolina, they made a 20-ton chocolate chip cookie.
Metallica as punishment? Seems reasonable to me.
Australian man. German woman. French kiss. United Arab Emirati prison.
Look who's on the Internet Movie Database! Why, it's your own darling webmaster!
Woman walked in with an anxiety attack, and walked out with a baby.
22-year-old is arrested for taking a test for his 12-year-old sister.
Student gets stuck while sneaking into the girls' locker room.
We did it! We escaped! We... uh... oh.
Note to self: don't stage a public kidnapping.
An evil evil child feeds a neighbor's pet cat to a gator.
Strippers made man a bit, uh, unable to seal the deal after his wedding.
www.HowToPickUpGirlsAtFunerals.com does not, in fact, tell you how to pick up girls at funerals.
Where some lucky, famous monkeys go when the cameras stop rolling.
Gates and Brokaw skip out on their cafe bill.
A christian youth ministry breaks down the mystery of teen lingo.
Lawyer chickens out, and drops his suit against Oreos.
Stop buying your couches, and start growing one!
Treat epilipsy... AND alcoholism... all at once.
The battle for Larry's face.
This is just such a sweet, sincere article about a 20-year-old visiting a 93-year-old. I'd highly advise it.
The ability to search for anybody's birthday seems neat, but is really sort of boring. (it's also incomplete)
Oxford professor says there's a 20 percent chance we're all living in the Matrix.
Now, for the pessimist in all of us, there's life in an air bubble.
They arrested the French Spiderman.
Tongue contests are wacky.
Man exposed in newspaper.
The less dramatic, more humane story of saving Jessica Lynch.
Find out his size? Science, be damned.
The fish are dead, but is it art?
Life imitating Seinfeld.
Being a Star Trek fan is actually paying off.
Sleeping cats! Music! Sleeping cats! Music!
A lawyer is suing Nabisco, claiming Oreos are dangerous for children.
Typing monkeys, it turns out, don't produce Shakespeare.
William Shatner sings Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.
Man protests with a green house.
Ever feel like you don't know enough about the accordian? If so, next month is your month.
Live from Cats Meow in New Orleans: the streaming karaoke cam!
If you listen to NPR's "Wait wait... Don't tell me," check out this link.
This is what happens when you purchase your degree online.
Here's how to make X-Men absolutely not fun.
Cat fur? Gross.
This man is selling his middle name naming rights on ebay.
Free Tea.
Nude models unionize.
Honda released a dog-friendly car.
Welcome to the next generation of paper: e-paper.
Who wants to pay to spend the day with a baseball player on house arrest?
William Shatner's wife sues him over horse semen.
German company sells back the muppets.
Microsoft plans to install computers in public toilets.
You are a lazy frog. You are also hungry.
Doctor springs for some DIY anti-smoking ads.
Hey, be oppressed while you dance!
Cat inherets woman's riches.
'Bling bling' is now in the dictionary.
Can the common cold cure brain cancer?
Man arrested after walking around town with his sister-in-law's severed head.
This is really disconcerting: The very Mao-esq Loyalty Day.
Fish feel pain when caught. Is that really a surprise?
Man dies in motorcycle accident with a cow.
How does it feel to live in the scene of a crime?
Cashier recognizes her own stolen checks.
Boy was pregnant with his own twin brother.
Man killed by singing karaoke.
First nude flight takes off.
Alaskan villages are banning plastic bags.
Little girl saves her kitten from a python's mouth.
Yesterday, i asked why the person behind pisspoor.com would be so secretive.
And today, armed with the knowledge of what's actually behind the website, i must wonder again.
Because really, it's nothing special. Just a boring personal website.
But, thanks to a genius reader of this page named Adam, at least the mystery is solved.
Trapped climber cuts off own arm with a pocketknife to survive.
Florida cop pepper-sprays a 12-year-old girl for jaywalking.
Baseball and gang fights: two of America's favorite pasttimes finally come together.
Australian brothel enters the stock market.
Tulsa's former mayoral candidate is loopy.
And she says she's not a gambler!
Wrestling's sweetheart, Miss Elizabeth, died.
Want to see Bruce Almighty for free? You might.
Look at the picture. Did Chretien smoke up before making this announcement?
Watch that market jumpity-jump-jump, to your own very whim.
Dead man in attendance to hear 'till death do us part.'
Will we all one day be superhuman mutants?
Rumors of a nude college video of Dubya's daughter has Hustler hunting.
A text-only version of Where's Waldo.
Hey, i always wanted to know what tax cuts for the rich taste like!
Be proud of your community. Hey, this sex offender sure is.
Airport jack rabbits are taking the more comfortable plane out.
Legal doors are being slammed on the new Doors tour.
(oh, and if you haven't visited yet, check out my fan page)
Now, THERE'S a job!
You might be sending SPAM mail.
What does POOP (and tons of other things) stand for?
Man fleeing cops drives into police parking lot.
Yeah, i'll have a big mac, some fries, and, uh, a pair of pants.
Batman may have met his match: SARS.
The FCC is about to make all media one big damn company.
U.S. begins its role in building an Iraqi government by arresting the first guy who stepped up.
Plan ahead: this Wednesday is free scoop day at all Baskin-Robbins.
Man forges an e-mail from the pope, hoping to get out of court.
School closed after its only pupil stays home.
Angry fan defaces Shaq's ball.
Two file-sharing companies can't be held liable, court says.
Teen goes to court, accidentally drops his joint on the floor.
AC/DC does the hokey pokey.
What a sad, sad man.
Crazy ex-husband sends ex-wife's photo to a porn magazine.
Heston resigns from the NRA, before Alzheimers pulls it "from (his) cold, dead hands."
PETA leader donated her body to weird, icky protests.
For the lonliest of the lonley, there's now the Insta-Boyfriend (on VHS and DVD).
Somewhere, somebody thought that vitamin gumballs were a good idea.
City gets a bit o' fame from Saddam's son's car.
Supreme Court begins to discuss if Nike can lie about its sweat shops.
Uhhhhhhhhhh............

This senator equates homosexuality with "man on dog."
See what happens? Wander into a circus ground, get your arm eaten by a tiger.
Before you board the plane, please remove your shoes and your leg.
A reporter unknowingly quotes a Mr. Jablome -- Heywood Jablome. (and later, he shows his embarassment)
Adrian Brody can never go to Iran.
The best thing about this shoot-em-up game is the guy screaming non-stop in German.
I could not be more supportive of this brilliant, beautiful man:
A chicago lawyer is suing movie theaters for showing commercials past the advertised movie start time.
For more reading on the issue, here's a USA Today article about it, his website, and a likeminded website.
An egret survived getting consumed by a car and driven 850 miles.
Damn, good decision. Keep this man in prison!
It was a dinosaur-eat-dinosaur world.
News we missed while watching the war.
Man hired hitman to kill wife, wanted to keep her in "Bitches Ashes" urn.
Ok, i know this is just a cartoon, but i got grossed out anyway.
Pretty funny prank phone calls. Try the 4-year-old's library birthday party, or the head and/or foot doctor.
Now you can have an Iraqi Information Minister of your own! (oh, and he may have killed himself)
Well, the penis-numbing condom is an... interesting idea.
Once again, life imitates Mallrats, and the Easter Bunny gets it.
Wild boar tries to join elderly couple in bed.
So, uh, dead women can give birth. Just so you know.
Sixteen days until free comic book day!
Just focus on the center.
News flash: walking actually isn't better for your heart.
Remember that soldier who was shot in the head four times? I linked him here once. Turns out, for naught.
California town to legalize adultury.
Just say no to J-Lo and Benny Fleck in Casablanca.
New software turns a vibrating phone into a, well, you know.
Sony tries to trademark "shock and awe."
Make your own evil clown.
He's sick of these SOBs drivin' these SUVs, and he wrote a blues song to show it.
Wait, i hadn't even heard about our second moon, and now we might have a third?
Florida schools become pathetic billboards.
There are a lot of men who look like Kenny Rogers.
This makes me so angry. Why isn't this illegal?
Ronald Reagan's son: "My father crapped bigger ones than George Bush."
Hooray for the success of independent music labels.
Models try to replace Spain's 'running of the bulls' with themselves.
Troops uncover Saddam's love palace.
The Iraqi Information Minister sure had some interesting things to say.
Wrong number leads police to big pot bust.
Cop trades a clean record for lap dances.
How to eat/drink tea in space.
Student offers spot in class on ebay.
Haiti has declared Voodoo an officially sanctioned religion.
Knife-thrower accidentally misses and hits girlfriend on live TV.
Man, that Glen can dance!
Britney hits the art world... or, the art world hits Britney.
German professors try to expel English from their language.
Al-Qaeda hijacks foreign student's website.
Scientists see two billion-year-old light. It was bright.
Yeah, ok, so this is a pretty impressive commerical.
Does this guy suck? One person sure thinks so.
What could possibly be the point of this survey?
LA may change the name South Central.
Do surgical masks actually stop SARS?
Bank robber does his business despite the professional photographer working inside.
I know this is kind of old, but: the stinky feet diary.
If you've seen Old School, this game is for you.
The world war warmer in the middle ages.
India's joining the space race.
Donny Rumsfeld is a poet, and we didn't even know it.
Man loses the same job for the fifth time.
Is there a Doctor of Castration in the house? In the jail house?
They don't just name hurricanes... they name them four years ahead of time.
Putting Twinkies to the ultimate tests.
For his birthday, one 14-year-old boy got married... to a 42-year-old.
15-year-old gets a prostitute from his hospital bed.
Ever send an embarassing e-mail to the wrong person? You're not alone.
Men in pantyhose are leading us into battle.
LA Times photographer alters photo, gets fired. (here are all the photos)
PETA learns Spanish the hard way.
The new dating fad: dinner in the dark?
Woman takes the speeding law into her own hands.
If the Pope speaks the word of God, did God finally just tell Paul McCartney to turn down the volume?
Here's a coupon for free M&Ms (in a .pdf file)
Israel is spared from bad, expensive, sweatshop coffee! (that is, Starbucks is pulling out)
Michael Moore's next flick will be Fahrenheit 911.
This is why Italians are way sexier than we are.
Man wants to fix relationship after his wife poisoned him.
How one high school class became Nazi Germany.
Ok, how lame is this "mitten for two"?
Kittens rockin' the fur off the place.
So wait, do they not have balls?
Here, have your bones, you damn racist.
Mascots rapping and breakdancing? Yes!
Bushinator?
Family attacked by raving, knife-weilding topless woman.
Someone else actually wants to take credit for Bringing Down the House.
Are Iraqis flicking off troops when they give a thumbs up?
Is food safety enhanced by a bus? You be the judge.
Controlling a cartoon skeleton is simultaneously unsettling and entertaining.
Man learns what happens to a rubber band ball when dropped from an airplane.
Hypnosis doctor apparently couldn't find a woman who wasn't getting very sleeeeeppppyyyy....
What do sperm and Toucan Sam have in common? They both follow their nose.
Hawk accidentally grabs man's toupee.
UFO sighting could have just been an electrocuted cat.

In America, it's business as usual: bidding for post-Saddam contracts is already in.
50 most loathsome New Yorkers. I'd like to add "anyone who complaints about out-of-state bagels and pizza."
Blair and Bush are religious guys, so they should heed this: Blair's plane was hit by lightening!
New study shows that electronic toothbrushes are a waste of money.
Oh, man. This is, well, sad. And weird. And disturbing. But, I feel pretty bad for the guy.
Exiled Iraqi cartoonist gives Saddam a new look.
Protester padlocks himself onto the wrong building.
Lawnmower contestant starts off in the wrong direction.
Gun enthusiast left his gun with the wrong grandson.
Don't get caught using the wrong language.
Corpse lands on children.
Man's penis accidentally frozen stuck to a bus stop.
Does the idiocy ever end? Now they're booing Canada at sports games.
The BBC accidentally shows footage of Bush getting primped before his little speech. (see 10 seconds of it here)
A radio station prank called Jacques Chirac, posing as Jerry Lewis. Jerry's pissed.
Blog by a guy living in Baghdad.
This teacher finally came out of the closet -- the crack cocaine closet.
Calling up the coalition of the useless.
Despot, or sexpot? Can you tell the difference?
The war made these people sick, so they held a vomit-in.
Talkin' dirty in Russian.
Toddler survives being run over by a van four times.
Anti-war grafitti done with a don't-slip-and-fall mandate.
Doctor's re-attach teen's head.
Obey the crab!
Waffa bin Laden, Osama's sultry neice, ain't wearin' no burka.
(and since that story had no picture, you can see Waffa here)
Here's a big surprise: virus writers are mostly lonely males.
This Onion article from Jan, 2001 predicted Bush's presidency amazingly well.
Bryan Adams actually manages to pull someone OUT of a coma.
They like the moon, because it is close to them.
Nope, not a dead body. It's just a drunk who fell asleep in the dryer.
Scientists who have nothing better to do say that (finger) size does, in fact, matter.
(...and i'll have you know, my ring finger is longer than my index finger, thankyouverymuch)
Some educated Bush-bashin'.
Man gets to keep his JEWBAN license plate.
When a fish talks in New York, everyone listens.
When cats attack. When puppies get their own tv channel.
Well, here's one of the classier animations you'll ever see.
Suspect swallows diamond, and the police are resorting to fast food.
Old weight-watchers cards, complete with appropriate scathing commentary.
Here's a bad political idea: tell people to run your city like Wal-Mart.
Flight attendant spikes baby's drink to stop it from crying.
Three men die trying to rescue a cell phone from a toilet.
Riding that stroller, high on cocaine...
Can you pass 8th grade math?
This racism against France is spinning even more out of control.
Court sends man to the doghouse.
Looking for that perfect emotion? Look for Eric's face.
China loves the Rolling Stones, but not Brown Sugar.
It's scientifically official: elder urine smells differently.
Extremely funny reinterpretations of the terrorist preperations.
Heroic uncle saves nephew from huge alligator.
Fake doctor has a trashy cure for excess weight.
French fries will NEVER be freedom fries... even if they're really from Belgium.
The oyster-eating champ shares his wing-eating secret.
Iraqi soldiers: stop, collaborate and don't shoot!!!
This dog is the bomb.
One war, one mac.
The world's only water skiing squirrel.
Do you have what it takes to feed the nine-mouthed baby?
I'm having a hard time believing the story of the man who filed a lawsuit against one of his personalities.
The Onion: Bush offers Americans another $300 for approving war.
Call him the dogcatcher.
Microsoft vs. Opera = the Swedish Chef.
Michael Chabon (author of Wonder Boys) had written an interesting treatment for the X-Man movie.
Uhhhhhh.... men lactating..... all in their mind.... uhhhhh.... aiieeeee......
Bush hates news conferences, which we all already knew.
Dick Cheney gets all huffy over a parody website.
The superbug is loose! The superbug is loose!
The perils of miscommunication and scissors.
Lawyer jailed for wearing a peace t-shirt in a mall.
Here's a beekeeper to give you a buzz. And be sure to meet his bees.
Get in people's minds by seeing the last 15 things that people searched for.
Carl Everett: had a bad day, or just a really really really big asshole?
A conversation about what happens when a newspaper drops crappy comics.
Clippy, the dumb paper clip in Microsoft Word, shall finally annoy no more!
Woman convicted for using daughter to have her baby.
Jacko paid $150,000 to put a voodoo curse on Speilberg. April Fools story, or just wacko jacko?
Peace-loving women across the world are boycotting physical loving.
For the dogs of the dogs, now there's the dog brothel.
Study: people are too uneducated to understand simple instructions.
Girl's body turned into the family jewels.
America is spying on security council members, according to memo.
New study says that obesity makes men dumb.
Holy shit. Face/off may be a reality, and a 16-year-old girl is up first.
The guy who co-discovered DNA thinks stupidity is a genetic disease that needs to be cured. Go man go!
"Great TV isn't born every day, but children are." (and then breakin' into Bob's house)
A real sweet story about Mr. Rogers.
Remember the roadrage guy that threw a puppy into oncoming traffic? Well, he got worse.
Whoa, sketchy plane flying over Indiana.
How CMJ is pulling a big scam, inflating itself instead of promoting fact.
The horrible cycle of roadkill at Miami International Airport.
Vodka from the venom of viper snakes? Mmmmm.
Pretty funny photoshop contest.
Can dogs be racist?
"Those kids have to FEAR and RESPECT THAT ESCALATOR!"
How Dan Rather snagged the Saddam interview.
Chinese couple offers cash for someone to marry their dead daughter.
Why didn't the Grammy Awards mention the R.I. fire?
This lady is like Tommy Boy -- but with an alligator instead of a deer.
Man flees bar fight and drives into a Mardi Gras crowd.
SUPER GREG LIVES!!!!!! Supergreg's site may have gone down, but it has been preserved through a student at University of Michigan. Here's Supergreg, and here's the real prize: the Supergreg #1 video.
(if you don't know what this is all about, uh, nevermind.)
College holds fake orgasm contest.
Man charged for profiting from bank's $2,600 screw-up.
Police run over French tourists.
Student censored for wearing a shirt with a picture of Bush and the words "International Terrorist."
Outstanding flash documentary about evolution.
Affirmative action at Hogwarts.
An inside look at The Onion.
Ever wonder the salaries of NPR people? Neither did i, but it's interesting anyway.
Man-eating lions are doing what they do best: eating people.
Yeah, uh-huh, this seems worth it.
London's great, if you stay put.
The Great White rider (of the RI club fire) makes no mention of pyrotechnics. See for yourself.
Does this guy look like James Vanderbeek? His friend wants to know.
Throw that chicken!
Snow puff? Snow puff.
An all-out assault on war writers, and well-worth it, too.
Washington Post columnist tells author he wrote the worst novel in the English language.
It's a crazy case of snow rage!
Weird experiment shows that people are touched by inaudible music.
It's the crazy anti-Semites cooking up conspiracy theories about the shuttle Columbia.
Health experts: don't eat anything out of the canal, especially the mutant jumbo shrimp.
Murder trial takes a twist when the jury requests a beer run.
Lord of the Rings an anti-war book?
Germans to write a book in 12 hours.
The modern pilot is packing heat.
Note to self: a corkscrew is not an adequate weapon when robbing a convenience store.
Is this a surprise? Swim across the lake with a heavy chain around your waist, and drown.
A British poll says that America is the #1 threat to world peace.
Right. This is necessary: a pick-up truck "built for speed." Great.
Atari emulator, for those nostalgic.
Big birthday bashes for kids who will never remember them.
Show us your peace pieces!
Free socks for a little foot check.
We're all born kissers.
Drunken driver apparently stupid even off the booze.
What to do with a pencil, if not write with it.
Who sent the Simpsons down the boob tubes?
Man freed after submitting pictures of his own penis as evidence.
The Onion shoots the hard-hitting question: who could you take in a fight?
Do you pick your nose? He does.
The air car.
New York City bans cell phones at public performances. Score one for humanity.
Iran bans Valentines Day. Score one for, uh, somebody, I guess.
Is that the largest scrotum in the world? Is that even possible?
Not even bees make the same noise, according to kids worldwide. This is actually pretty fascinating: international collection of kids making animal noises.
No shit... diarrhea may prevent cancer.
I would just hope that Dustin Diamond got over the Screech thing.
Target pulls kid v-day cards with the word "jihad" after ignorant parent complains.
Boosting young girls egos, or an obvious trick by the beef industry to sell more hamburgers?
The cops found Dell dude's doobie.
The 90-year-old and his 40kg of foil.
Ashcroft is sweeping in for sloppy seconds.
Bible college can't stop whining about its telephone prefix, 666.
Dogs with brows.
Poopy penguins ruining Antartica's first building.
The most dramatic that e-mailing in another language can be.
It isn't the most beautiful male chest, but for $20, it's yours.
The long-lost Disney memo.
How a living frog gets encased in stone.
It's the game where George W. Bush destroys the world! Whee!
This picture gives me a headache.
Just keep clicking for, uh, something.
Art, or something else? Clever clever. (don't be afraid to click on the images. really.)
Nothing says smart political move like handing out toy guns to kids in Harlem.
Drawing dragons was never so STRONG BAD!
No no, the FBI really isn't watching everything you do.
Nothing like a wholesome plate of urine and breast milk.
Lard of the Rings.
Another damn addictive game.
Cooties! They all have cooties!
Facts on farts.
Gucci identifies the G-spot.
Take note, kids: hiding and sneakily collecting women's urine from a public bathroom is indeed a crime.
So many train-riders for not having a train.
This is like South Park for the disabled.
Man pays wife salary to stop nagging.
Turns out Joe Millionaire is Joe Bodyslam.
Uh, well, here's the time.
Tiny tiny fanart.
If your computer is making a hissing noise, call the pet store.
Police booed for breaking up two females going at it in public.
One normal, now creepy article on the shuttle's anticipated successful landing.
In the long, heated battle between penises and cable modems, the penis takes the lead.
If only Joe Lieberman's campaign was really this honest.
Some lonely man's dreams just came true.
Florida takes a gamble on the weather.
"Sure, Timmy, you weren't really an accident."
It is not a crime to threaten an inanimate object.
Anger management, anyone?
Remember the German judge who told a motorist to run over a dog? Not in Romania would that happen.
More Lucky Ducky.
Sports anchor banned from the Super Bowl for stealing a souvenir seat cushion.
Why the French hate America.
The legend of cyclops might have been spawned by a large nasal cavity.

The highway to hell is coming back to earth.
Four wheels, two legs, and one kid who will never drive again.
Female or shemale? I got 11 out of 16.
Really now, who's the ugly one here?
Car carjacked in the middle of driving test.
Washington voters may soon make a rather important decision: is Tim Eyman officially, legally, a horse's ass?
Kazaa to the RIAA: blow it out your RIAAsshole.
Absurdly fearless journalist talks about being kidnapped in Colombia.
Controversial cartoons are the best cartoons.
Here's a guy who really needs to write some emo songs.
Trade stuff. Get stuff. Like a commune of stuff.
This Modern World: our lives, our oil.
Superbowl adveritsements in review.
Man tries to beat dog to death, but gets poetic justice instead.
And then God said, "Stay for an extra Caribbean cruise."
UK's classiest newspaper asks for weird sex locations, and readers enthusiastically respond.
Ween sings about cheese.
Confused by Kubrick's 2001? I was. This helped.
Fly the friendly skies... the very friendly naked skies.
So, it turns out that door keys really aren't all that safe.
Hay, it wasn't pot after all.
Tall men seeking tall women. In India.
I use printers for pictures and words. They use it for living tissue.
One town is putting its foot down on simultaneous human and animal massages.
Vasectomy for a bike, anyone?
Man tries to buy a car with coupons, and i'd say he's got a good case.
Doctor brands his alma mater's initials into a woman's uterus. She's not too happy.
Exhibit A: the foreskin.
Impressive mind reader? No.
Surprisingly difficult flash game. I thought i had good coordination...
One small step for man, one giant leap for Margaret Thatcher's head.
Chunk of ice falls from a plane bathroom, and crashes through a Santa Cruz home.
Chilean candidate promises to flash her rivals.
The Terminator tries to terminate an Ohio car dealership.
Vote for the worst band name ever.
Thought the hotornot.com concept couldn't get more insulting? Think again.
Robber attacks victim with Playstation.
Filmmaker says Ground Zero should be filled with bison.
This Modern World: pundits ponder people.
Iraq.
The guy who invented the jackalope has left us.
Coming to theaters... Rambo vs. Osama.
Laser show. Well, not really, but sort of.
Hyundai gets it on with your parents.
Scientifically proven: even before birth, males are more difficult.
Your mom's so funny, she needs a catalog to file jokes about her.
It's like that riddle about twins being born in different years.
Penis explodes during sex.
For webpage-oriented people: explanation of robots.txt.
The new GOP Congress wasted no time screwing things up.
Flat bubbly scares airplane.
You know your state is pathetic when it gives a homecoming parade to a cat.
An adult entertainment store offers a "clergy discount."
Free sunglasses.
Cell phones that make sure people aren't overly irritating. This is genius.
NY Times reporter buys a ticket to a play, and so the director cancels the evening.
Swinging babies hurts my eyes.
Hey, here's a creepy guy.
Hooray! More Super-Fun-Pak-Comix!
Stinky fruit sparks airline alert.
All "the State" skits, archived for your viewing pleasure. This is truly wonderful.
Purple.com sure is... purple.
In this town, it's illegal to ride the bus while stinky.
This Modern World and the potentially dangerous moon.
365 days of weird music.
Frustrating question. Interesting advice.
Forget paper hats... here's penis ora

ami on tour.
Finally, they found a medical use for vampire bat saliva.
Lawyers at a murder trial rebuked for wearing ties decorated as nooses.
In Germany, caring about the life of a small dog IS FORBODEN!!!!!
Cops respond to joke answering machine.

Santa needs to keep his pants on.
Bought any music in the last few years? Get some of your money back.
Did a little damage to your scrotum? Nothing a stapler can't fix.
For this guy, age ain't nuthin' but a number.
Great collection of editorial cartoons.
The SUV-terrorism commercials are here!
Who said jail isn't funny?
This guy is an idiot.
Cover a John Ashcroft song, and win $250. This is the best contest ever.
Someone hates Starbucks.
The K Chronicles takes on big honkers.
Kids find a different kind of education with Barney.
The relationship was great until she saw his feet.
 (i prefer to stray from linking to nudity and such, but i figure this is amusing enough...) Real or fake?
Perhaps one of the lamest commercials for one of the coolest products.
Get ready for the flood: 50's music copyrights are expiring in Europe.
Seven year old boy gets trashed on his birthday.
A face you can buy over and over and over again.
This is a special kind of hate. Click on the picture.
Dave Barry tells you just how bad South Florida is.
This woman really wanted a cookie.
Fun times with Judiasm.
Fun times with Japanese guys and crazy music.
Nothing refreshes you like Mecca-Cola.
An elderly couple take a 17-story plunge from their condo.
Verizon lays off a lot of workers, and their execs take million dollar bonuses.
Seven year old boy gets trashed on his birthday.
A face you can buy over and over and over again.
This is a special kind of hate. Click on the picture.
Dave Barry tells you just how bad South Florida is.
This woman really wanted a cookie.
Fun times with Judiasm.
Fun times with Japanese guys and crazy music.
Nothing refreshes you like Mecca-Cola.