Backlog from 4/02 - 12/02

(back to pic of the day)

An elderly couple take a 17-story plunge from their condo.
Verizon lays off a lot of workers, and their execs take million dollar bonuses.
Jack Ass sues the makers of Jackass for runing his name.
Mark was reported dead. The trouble was, he wasn't.
Magazines had a bizarre, aimless year.
Technology reporter reports freebies.
Three-legged dog saves lives.
Which is worse?
San Francisco bans the segway, and a columnist says it would cause people to be fat.
Like the hampster dance from hell...
Winner of the absolutely grossest thing to put on a boob: possum fur nipple warmers.
Why are fruitcakes a holiday tradition? ...and other holiday questions answered.
The dreamiest of animated dreams.
The shark never really jumped out of the water. In fact, it wasn't there at all.
85-year-old man accidentally drives golf cart onto highway.
Pretty interesting series of good and bad Internet dating experiences.
Cult hero hacker is about to come back to the wired world.
The teenage sniper suspect is having a surprisingly hard time with the jail cuisine.
Surprise, surprise. American military can't find help because they're prima donnas.
Are these girls jailbait or legal? Surprisingly difficult quiz.
Cute little game where you find presents hidden in snow. Look out for surprise boxes.
Truly awesome archive of presidential campaign advertisements.
Cute and simple mini-golf game.
Mounted shark got away.
These are all very cool. Click on the numbers. Play games. Marvel.
Norwegian woman breast-fed orphaned puppies back to health.
If you told Richard Gere he was a snake, and he was actually a giraffe, he'd tell you so.
Calvin, Hobbes, and snowmen.
The world has lost one wacky wacky judge.
The First Mate's Institute of Technology is not a party pirate school.
Man writes "Bullshit fucking ticket" on the memo part of a check for a traffic ticket, and is charged with contempt of court.
Man literally caught with a monkey in his pants.
Can't fart? Why not create a digital one?
Doctor says that tongue piercings cause bad breath.
The mormons have been baptizing holocaust victims. That's right: posthumous baptisisms.
Tom the Dancing Bug and the great frustration of high society.
The Great Moon Hoax.
Author signs book, then finds it in a used book store.
Teens busted for stealing lawn gnomes.
Women better their communities by banning the beer truck.
Scientists resurrect 2,800-year-old bacteria.
Substitute teacher tells 5-year-olds that santa isn't real.
You've read it, you've heard it, and now you can see it: talkin' about the word fuck.
Great little ditty on the state of the nation.
Check out the ManateeCam.
Pretty good story about what happened when Santarchy (see below picture) hit Washington D.C.
Everything you could want from the Muppet's Swedish Chef.
Guy stops a car thief by shooting him in the head.
This man got a little too excited over nativity scene.
No, no, he said that dad's not available!
The history of asshat.
I am one of these people: Nation afraid to admit 9-year-old disabled poet is really bad.
Someone has compiled all the information on the Internet into this page.
Study says that grandpa is safe on the road.
Guess the movie by looking at a still without the actors' bodies. Impressive, and near impossible.
Saddam Hussein is someone's friend. Find out how you can have a friend, too.
Swami Ralph and his wacky scrapbook.
87-year-old man nabs con men by playing along with their ruse.
 Man saves his life by biting an attacking crocodile in the nose.
Ralph Nader wants more news coverage of recreational sports.
Berkeley mayor threw out student newspapers because they endorsed his opponent.
The true story of two brothers-in-law and 25 years of giving the same pair of pants.
As a gesture of gratitude, a porn company is donating scholarship money in Indiana.
Internet spammer can't take what he dishes out.
Turkish Star Trek: the final final frontier.
Tom the Dancing Bug and the 9 commandments.
The saga of the car that could have gone 80 miles per gallon.
Down with the glossy magazines!
Man saved by his messy car.
Is this real? The Bloody Dick Cabin in Beaverhead-Deerlodge National Forest.
The millionaire mayor vows to bike to work.
Who wants to date a petite, single, 20-year-old girl? Oh yeah, she's a FREAKIN' NEO-NAZI!
The Washington Post's 1948 "Miss Government Girl" contest winners.
A catalog of historical references from the "Wonderful World" segment in Bowling for Columbine.
Bigfoot creater dies, and the family admits that "Bigfoot" was actually his wife.
This Modern World: Language is still a virus.
Lame elephant jokes are lame.
Lo-fi, keyboard-hi, weird locked-in-the-room tiny songs by some presumably bored girl in her bedroom.
Wife-to-be is paranoid, because her last husband had sex with the batchelor party entertainment.
It's a bad teen novel!
It's viagra for kids!
It's a racially profiling dog!
Son sentenced in court to lunch with mom.
Manute Bol is playing hockey.
Kind of sad, kind of weird, chair disaster.
I always knew there was a market for a $10 bag of chips. Just put a fake rapper on the wrapper.
Strom Thurman is an old bastard. He turned 100 yesterday. Here's Strom Watch, because, well, he's Strom.
Poor Beverly Hills. It's a tough life when you have to limit limo loitering.
Large bear attacks baby Jesus doll! Those damn athiest bears...
Something of a follow-up on the monkey story from last week: monkey attacks 23 people in Japan.
Man killed in squabble over movie tickets.
Guys in full-sized phone suits steal cell phones and smash them. Then they run away.
This is genius: picture yourself in plastic. Lego plastic.
Setting the record straight about most every e-mail forward.
Man surprisingly makes matters worse, not better, by mailing a school official a severed raccoon head.
Quasi-pity personal charity sites: Ed needs a hummer, Penny needs to leave her husband, Robin needs to kick Hepatitis C.
Lego death: the torture chamber of lego people.
The Whacko Jacko Fat Elvis syndrome exposed.
A penny will still buy something! In this case, 12 minutes.
How computers will eventually take over the world: a windy and convoluted academic theory.
From the sports perspective, the road to hell is paved with SUVs.
Hey asshole, way to make the Boy Scouts more homophobic than they already are.
(Sadly, I'm sure the Scouts can't tell the difference between a normal gay man and this pervert.)
Michael Jackson dropping babies: the game.
Quick! Get that person an emergency Baptism!
This Modern World looks at your permanent record.
Entertaining, although rather irreverent, Cat and Girl comics.
College paper loses funding after calling professor's wife 'fat and ugly.'
What life would be like if people actually busted out into song... in the library.
Woman shot in the eye with a paintball while driving.
Scientific proof that Santa doesn't exist.
Oops. Wrong message, wrong person.
Boy rents movie at library, it is mistakenly porn, and then he throws up.
Idiot teenagers pretend to be cops and pull over a police chief.
Judge criticized for writing opinions in rhyme.
The text is lame, but all the pictures for this Billy Joel song are impressive.
Tom the Dancing Bug gives us a Thanksgiving perspective.
Please read this news story, if only to be able to enjoy the following quote in some kind of actual context: ''For a second, we looked at each other. Then I screamed, `Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!'''
Drugs aren't just for middle school kids anymore.
The WSJ sends the GOP MIA.
Face/Off, the crappy movie with John Travolta and Nick Cage, is a reality.
His TiVo thinks he's gay.
Wait, is that a nude man? Quick, honey, grab some wood and let's chase him!
Practical jokes at New Mexico Tech.
I hate "Trading Spaces." But, it's still interesting to read about how non-reality tv it is.
What better way to poo-poo a newspaper article than to bring poo poo to the newspaper?
...and the Lord camith to him, and he said, "Put those vibrators away, and start selling Bibles." And he did.
Uh-oh. Could folks in the Naval Academy been -- GASP!!!! -- downloading music?
Deaf cell phones to translate someone's voice into a computer face, whose lips can supposedly be read.
(the company has a website with a really unimpressive demonstration of this computer face)
When the lion isn't sick, it's lion-booty 20 times a day.
Idiot dies doing something idiotic, and then blames it on tv.
Oops! A post-powerpoint presentation pre-pubescent penis photograph lands businessman in jail.
(how good was that alliteration, by the way? thank you, thank you)
Miami to New York: Our tree is bigger than yours.
What the hell? I can't tell if this is promoting war or parodying Dubya.
Woman allegedly kills child, then goes dancing naked in the streets.
This is outstanding: e-mail dialogs with Nigerian money scam people.
The recording industry continues its frantic low blows, this time in Mexico.
Quite possibly the strangest ode to boobs you shall ever see.

The restaurant may be Italian, but is it... Italian?
You can predict the weather with a pig spleen. Or, you could just check the paper.
Teenagers drive recklessly because their brains haven't fully developed, scientist says.
Crooks captured by Batman!
Real list of porn movies whose titles are based on real movies.
Anyone looking for a tasty, wiggly snack?
Does the shit hit the fan? It's really up to you.
When is a basketball game win embarassing for the winners? When the score is 115 to 2.
What happened here? Did they just let the town nut loose on the newspaper?
Is Bush a moron? Canada thinks so.
Want a free condom?
School bus accident caused by flying fish.
Come for the car, stay for the cocaine.
In America, Eminem gets a sell-out crowd. In England, an autopsy does.
Tom the Dancing Bug: Super-fun-pak comix 90th anniversary!
Long, dopey recount of Mario Bros.
From the guy that brought you the expensive scooter, here's an engine that produces electricity and distilled water!
How to invate Starbucks.
The classy xylophone.
Indiana University students acted on their own, says porn company.
Only technology will save the earth from global warming, say scientists.
Gallery of crazy quasi-costumed cats.
Here, honey. I bought you a little metal robot thing for your tongue. Isn't it sexy? Yeeaahhhh.
Buzz Lightyear turns in toy thief.
Writer accidentally checks Saddam's e-mail.
Play everyone's favorite holiday game... dress up Jesus!
Note to football players: It's against the rules to cover yourself in PAM.
Ok. He's Japanese, I think. He's got a fish for a head. And he's a superhero. Or something. What?
Neat close-up pictures of the sun.
Mid-west college students are mysteriously vanishing.
Someone who was helplessly addicted to ebay put themself in Barbie's shoes.
These are wonderful horses. Wonderful musical horses. Click on them. They are wonderful.
Oops. Pee Wee and the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off were nabbed for child porn.
These things suck.
Mad Magazine, in a painful fit of lameless, made a bitter and angry satiric punch at The Onion.
Fox News anchor blurts out an awesome Freudian slip.
I know they love eggs, but... what the hell?
Crazy squirrel terrorizes British town.
Jokes, by musician.
The continued unhappy lives of those miners who were trapped in Pennsylvania.
What would Jesus drive? Not an SUV.
Crazy bastard booby-traps his house to kill his family, and then accidentally sets one off himself.
Pistons rain 3'nigs on! Pistons rain 3'nigs on!
My movie suggestion of the day: see Igby Goes Down. Fantastic.
A man writes books on stupidity does something really stupid.
Need a quick way to ruin a wedding? Call Sweet Patootie the Clown!

A bunch of neat optical illusions.
Everything you might want to know about squirrels.
You know you've always wanted to see a video of someone lighting their fart on fire. You know you have.
This is outstanding: create your own Bush speech!
The terrorists have apparently moved on from large airplanes to electronic razors.
Dancing pink jellybean in its underwear with a fake accent? Yessssssssssssssssss.
The Cowbell Project has added a little cowbell flare to your favorite rocking classics.
Heckler reduces tennis star to tears.
The bubonic plague once wiped out half of humanity, and now it's in NYC.
In Seattle, the SWAT team finally ended its five-hour stand-off... with a dog.
One town isn't too happy about being turned into a roadkill dumping ground.
Terrifica -- on the prowl, defending single women from themselves and then men that seduce them.
America, and its scary covert operations team.
Elvis impersonator loses his bid for a seat in Indiana's State House.
The British Army's new tank is gone with the wind.
'Inside Edition' wastes time painting dorm rooms at Indiana University.
Ever wonder who, if anyone, officially tests condoms for quality? The answer: British students.
Raise money, travel to Washington D.C., moon the White House. Repeat?
Classic books, boiled down to their boiled essentials.
NPR vs. porn lady.
Look like the girl from the Mac commercials. Don't do as many drugs as her.
You've missed your chance to bid on this guy's family jewels.
Boob-licking scam is broken up in Bogota.
Hey! Give yourself a seizure!
Here's a kickin' guy up for grabs.
Serious note: great Boston Globe story about a racist biracial skinhead written by a biracial reporter.
(and by the way, if the topic interests you, please check out a novel called Caucasia, by Danzy Senna. it's a wonderful work.)
Who are you? Googlisms knows.
Nothing says loving like guaranteed fight night at the hockey arena.
The Vines + kittens = rather good.
Put cursor on hand, put cursor on feet. Weird.
People go nuts over the turkey testicle festival.
French McDonald's tells it like it is: don't eat here too often.
Green Bay Packers player was packing something when he went into a college dorm room and shit in some girl's closet.
Coffee enemas? Coffee enemas.
The Bush Players Presents: life after Saddam.
This is pretty sobering: a 22-page letter mailed to an Arizona paper from the guy who shot three professors and himself.
Man is arrested after a bizarre attempt to rob people at a funeral party.
Did you know that Mikey from the Monkeys's mom invented White Out?
A very worthy cause: No more aol CDs (dot com)
Hands down, Arnold Schwartzenegger's finest role is in this insane Japanese commercial.
(and there's plenty more American movie stars doing Japanese commercials where that came from)
Star Wars, the animated hip hop.
Ladies and gentlemen, i present to you... the world's only ass-kicking machine.
Behind every horrible porn there is horrible interior decorating.
This is pure pure genius satire. Go here now. BlackPeopleLoveUs.com
Want a free liquid pen? Office Depot is giving them out.
Cooking with a cute little kid!
Pair of deer smash through McDonalds window. Fight the power, deer!
Indiana University isn't too happy that someone filmed a porn there.
Schenectady, New York, has a future, and it is with Guyanese immigrants.
Some people with common sense have a reasonable proposal: end daylight savings time.
It's never too early to plan ahead -- like, wait for this guy to retire, move to Mexico, and build apartments for you to live in.
Clips of radio "bloopers." In particular, check out Howard Cosell getting pissed off, and The Icehouse.
Chief Moose from the sniper investigation has a fanclub now, and why not? Frighteningly, the merch is actually pretty cool.
Guy snuck onto football field to offer autographs on a dare.
It's like eBay, but for stolen goods that police departments are getting rid of.
When tempers rise on the 16th floor of a construction site, why not have a fistfight? Sure.
Under coach's orders, a high school newspaper columnist is pummeled by the football team for his unflattering column.
Columnist gets stupid by writing about Martha Stewart's stupid magazine.
It's impossible to calculate how to win at Tetris because, uh, i don't really know. But they do.
A sampling of things said at a STD clinic, collected by the nurses that work there.
Tom the Dancing Bug: Introducing... Low Self-Esteem Teen magazine!
If you care about Massachusetts politics, download this adobe acrobat file.
Suddenly, America finds evidence to link Iraq and the Oklahoma City bombing? Funny timing, isn't it?
How many calories do you burn having sex? Here's the breakdown, move-by-move.
Your life is ABOUT TO CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!! (in, oh, five months, just because.)
The sad reality of what happens when you have a lot of dogs, and you're just kind of lame.
Hey Bushy-Bush, stick this in your drug-to-terrorism ad campaign and smoke it. (and people did)
Girls with exposed midrifs rally against Australian columnist.
This Modern World: those brave, sensible democrats.
Webcasters find an unlikely ally to save them from oppression.|
Seamen blown. Huh huh huh.
Here's someone who was really pissed at their hard drive.
When emo isn't just enough to listen to, try the emo game.
This little man has an impressive amount of strength.
She didn't get the sex from her recently-hospitalized husband, so she bit him to death.
Parents are granted the right to pre-determine their child's sex so they can keep (and create) a family secret.
Click on this page to give a dollar to breast cancer research.
Google backwards is just stupid.
Because there's a list for everything, here's a list of vegan rock stars.
Geraldo Rivera: personally making sure you never forget how piss-poor a reporter he is.
Lithuania: making sure its female prisoners never forget that looks really can get you far in life.
More of the crazy kittens playing crazy music.
A telemarketer saves a suicidal man's life.
Really good column about people who get all huffy over the Boondocks.
If your last name is Parker, you should like Spiderman and get it for free.
Everything you could possibly want to know about abusing the Stanley Cup.
The movie 'Signs' (which i dug) in four easy steps.
How to justify body piercings at work? Say it's part of your religion.
We all know Clear Channel sucks. Now, here's ClearChannelSucks.com.
More crazy times with Judge Scalia.
I've always heard about the Anarchist's Cookbook, but never seen it...
To be honest, i'm not really interested. But, maybe you are. So, here.
They had been expecting Wagner, but instead got "Wee on my face."
Disappearing berries! Disappearing berries!
Scary scary scary Michael Jackson scary scary scary.
In a few months, everyone's going to wish they listened to this guy in Congress.
Here's a quiz. Take the quiz.
At pickupyourowndamnsocks.com, you can complain about men not picking up their own damn socks. Unless you're that man.
What happens when your town's claim to fame is its white squirrels.
A sad farewell to the environment's only current hope for automobile relief.
Like fireworks and stupid webpages? This is for you.
Want someone's pen? Now's your chance.
Which gets you out of bed first? A bomb or an alarm clock?
Correction: football team is not expecting the amount of fun we thought they were.
Newspaper accidentally calls the 'Our Lady of Peace' boat, 'The Big Ass Spanish Boat.' Oopsy-daisy.
Can you guess what happens at BitchMakeMeASandwich.com?
A re-cap of the 1998 syndicated comics April Fools Day switcharoo.
To increase ratings, CNN is getting jiggy with it.
Guess what movies these screen shots came from.
If you don't mind, i have something to say about this: Iraqi VP suggests Bush-Hussein duel.
The chickenman is getting married.
The United Nations has said ixnay on the dwarf tossingnay.
Just because this is unrelentingly crude, i had to laugh: Justin's "I banged Britney" homepage.
The Onion: Bush seeks U.N. support for 'U.S. does whatever it wants' plan.
Scantily clad woman poses on a firetruck, and a community is steamed.
Caffeinated soap -- because drinking something in the morning isn't fast enough.
See, i don't smoke pot. I think it's stupid. But i do support legalizing it, so here's Jeff and Tracy. They smoke pot.
However, nobody should support Karyn. She spent a lot of money because she's stupid, and she wants you to pay for it.
Yet another great story of people taking The Onion seriously.
Paint your teeth! Because we all, uh, want... to paint our, ummm, our teeth, or something.
Everyone loves when the Spartans molest the miners, right?
Interview with a dad whose son turned him in for smoking pot.
Think you got a good education? Try a final exam from 1895.
You don't love your horse unless you share the same beauty products.
And speaking of horses, don't you think your horse deserves some horseballs?
Don't forget about your dog. You'll want to know how smart it is, of course.
If you're setting up a drug codeword at KFC, try to be a bit clearer than 'extra biscuits.'
Burger King's nightmare before Christmas. (i posted the wrong link yesterday. try it now.)
Out of control Japanese mamas on bikes!
It is good that we've gotten to the point where cartoon Al Qaeda employee training films aren't anti-PC overkill. I'm not sure.
If your name was Richard Fitzwell, would you dare shorten it? Dick Fitzwell sure did.
Where do you hide your crack cocaine while in court? Why, in your hair, of course.
Some dope in Detroit fell for the ol' millions-in-Nigeria e-mail fraud -- and to do it, she stole some cash as well.
An editorial in a car magazine says to drive less, and he's a brave man for saying it.
People willingly paid thousands of dollars for a match-making service, and THEN they think they got ripped off.
At 100 years old, this guy is driven by cognac and cookies.
When your loved one dies, don't bury them. Wear them.|
The very long week-by-week diary of a recording session.
Disney is in negotiations for a new Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs movie -- ninja-style.
Carbonated milk? Eeewwwwwwwwww.
Not only does Worth Magazine make me want to puke, but their list of Ivy League-favored high schools does, too.
Make love to a wall socket with electronic masturbation.
This is without a doubt one of the most truthful commentaries i've seen on the Iraq situation -- and from a comic, no less.
The not-so-ill-fated adventures of infiltrating the furries -- er, i mean, the anthropomorphics.
I have such a poor opinion of private schools, and here's just one more good reason why.
What would make your day complete? How about a bunch of morphing men-women turning their heads?
World leaders weigh in on, like, totally bombing Iraq, man.
When your pet is missing its nuts, get it a pair of neuticles.
Check out the thesaurus verbs for "musician" -- grind the organ, touch the guitar, beat the drum. What are we talking about here?
When a town is half-country and half-city, are electric fences acceptable?
It's almost the 20th anniversary of the :)
Do something useless by holding the button at HoldTheButton.com
Four years in prison may be steep, but those damn cell phone users just don't know when to quit.
Some people dislike *NSYNC, but this guy runs over their fans.
Here's a unique form of torture: taking the 71-ounce steak challenge.
Tom the Dancing Bug with another Super-Fun-Pak Comix.
A Washington Post update on how George Dubya is doing at the English language.
Osama Bin Laden bloopers.
And maybe you'll ponder the Waffles for Heroes offer, where a uniformed person can get a free waffle... with purchase of something else.
Or, you can cheer Buzz Aldrin for punching a man in the face after he was accused of never actually walking on the moon.
Fugitive terrorist found a good hiding spot by hiding nothing -- at a nudist colony.
Nothing like finding a 40.2-carat emerald in a conch shell to start your day off right.
This Modern World: What the President has learned since 9/11.
The Halloween costumes, over the years, of a little girl named Maddy.
The deal with the doctor: if he makes it to 100, doc goes to Europe.
Jim Beam workers are soiling themselves over a new bathroom policy.
Turkish couple wants to name their child Osama Bin Laden, and Germany says no.
Dog poo is a hot topic in Australia.
The Jewish new year, in all its glory. (hit the off switch)
Where there are no toilets, the flying poo bags are king.
Are weblogs changing our culture?
Tom the Dancing Bug reveals the top secret plan for Iraq.
When a band must make a decision about its name, things get ugly.
This is a mad cow with something to say. I enjoyed it until the crappy ending.
Thanks to the NY Daily News, we know that, indeed, airlines are still horribly dangerous.
Wheelbarrow freestyling, sadly, will not be part of the next olympics.
Whoa, crazy Japanese mayonnaise.
David Hasselhoff is hooked on a feeling... and judging from this video, he's hooked on LSD, too.
I like concerts as much as the next guy, but $3000 for the Stones? Or for anyone? Not a damn chance.
Whoops, says a trendy Brit shoe company, which named their shoe after poison gas used by the nazis.
Forget annoying car alarms. This woman is making alarms out of bird sounds.
The White Stripes, played by kittens... or, well, yeah. Something like that.
This Modern World: The optimist's guide to war with Iraq.
How greedy can a person get? Try demanding $27,000 from a 9/11 victim's family, because the victim didn't terminate the lease before dying?
People's brains create music, and if you play it back to them, they'll fall asleep faster.
The doctor was stealing supplies from work -- and by supplies, i mean body parts.
Nothing makes a girl look better than an internet classified ad that says "no fattys please."
Score one for teacher rights.
So, how do geckos stick to things? Now we know.
This is one lucky baby. When all grown up, he/she can re-live his/her birth at the gas station parking lot.
If only all drunk drivers had the lack of foresight to smack into a police car.
The power of black privilege in America, in all its glory.
In the high school at Devils Lake, ND, Satan is out of a job.
With the Geek Squad, you get your computer problems solved. Guaranteed and classified.
Is Al-Qaida based off of a sci-fi novel?
Like momma always said, the best cooks are always stuffed monkeys.
This Modern World: we've got to attack something!
FYI: the reality show pitting teenagers against paroled sex offenders, "Survive This!" does not exist.
Kudos to CNN for calling celebrities on their financial ties to drug companies.
Joe woke to find that the girl he'd brought home the night before was a cow.
The second half of this video is a man in a speedo dancing in the woods. That's all i'll say.
H.P. Lovecraft with stuffed animals.
Amusing -- and, i admit, i agree with a lot of it. 100 albums you should sell back.
The mystery of the guy who wanted his car filled with concrete is solved... but, i can't link it.
So, go here yourself: http://www.oaklandtribune.com/Stories/0,1413,82%257E1726%257E808569,00.html?
A Beijing newspaper is trying to shame the city's topless men into putting shirts on by running bare-chested photos of them.
It's a dance party at the baggage claim.
The New York Times wedding announcements: elitist and awful or strangely addictive?
How easy is it to build a dirty bomb? One journalist tries to find out.
A scene that would never have occured at Bush's economic "forum."
The jury voted in favor of the fish in the case of the Marlin mascot vs. injured old man.
Everything you'd want to know about Viking funerals.
Police department website starts re-directing visitors to porn.
The actor that played Peter on the Brady Bunch is not a motivational speaker about pimples.
A San Francisco jail accidentally released the wrong guy.
Three people in Alabama went to jail for murdering a baby that never existed.
Grandpa knew that the only way people would visit his grave is if there was an ATM there.
Want a seizure? Go here.
The owners of Godzilla have attacked Davezilla with a cease and decist order. Godzilla is officially lame.
The war on terror is about US oil and power? Tell it, Australian journalist man!
Smoke pot and get paid? According to smokepotgetpaid.com.
At the time travel fund, interest for over 100s of years may buy you a visit from the future.
Animals have found their drug of choice in a millipede.
People in San Antonio are getting randomly sprayed with stale human urine.
Completely bizarre story about a boy and his floating mother.
Knitting with dog hair: an Australian radio investigation.
Corporate scandal trading cards... collect them all!
They couldn't tow the car, so they just paved around it.
Florida voters will soon decide the legal comfort level of soon-to-be proud piggie mommas.
Jumpin' sturgeons!
News anchor suddenly blurts out that murderer should "rot in hell."
The fragmented case files of brock showalter,christian fundamentalist detective.
Another asteroid, another collission course to our collective living room.
Wait. What? Japanese cat. Singing in English. Very dramatic. High voice. What?
Why this guy is better than small children with rudimentary artistic abilities.
The results for the 2002 bad writing contest are in!
Quite possibly the best frat satire i've seen. It's all golden.
Two diaries for two times.
Weird t

xt illustrated by posed photos of plastic animals. What?
Looking for a famous person's grave. No? Well, uh, neither was i.
Should you dump him? This quiz is for some bad situations.
Fun times with Jesse Ventura.
The six possibilities for the WTC site.
One man's problem: hasn't told his wife about the prostitution bust he was involved in before her.

When reporters have to write their own obits.
Here's a guy who loves glasses on girls.
This guy's bad experience interviewing Harrison Ford.
Disney stopped sending pigeons to certain death.
Dead floating body isn't so dead after all.
Topless carwash in Idaho... and it's not the car whose top is down.
The big hit in France nowadays is a 62-page complaint letter to Air France.
This guy was so engrossed in his comics that he forgot about his daughter, who died.
All the man wanted was to be buried in his backyard, but it's tough going.
I dig the comic 'Get Fuzzy.' Do you? Then read this.
To avoid eviction, a man lived with his dad... his dead dad.
Love your school? Enough to pay to be buried or scattered there?
Bike-selling Scots strand Alaskan chicken hypnotist. True story.
The five dumbest things in Wall Street this week.
This bastard was poaching and selling sea turtle eggs.
I posted this once a long time ago: guess the dictator or sit-com character.
Tom the Dancing Bug's version of corporate crime.
Some Malasian druggies are sniffing cowshit to get high.
This is as true to life as i've seen: two teens, one likes cars, one doesn't.
A mental hospital catches on fire, and a newspaper's headline is "Roasted Nuts." Here, the editor apologizes.
A 90-year-old man survives 1,000 bee stings.
Hey, you've got something on your shirt. Oh, that's just 40 people playing Nintendo.
This guy dropped his pants at an airport to prove a point, and i don't blame him.
The wave of the future rides on chicken feathers.
White couple births a black baby? Someone at the fertility clinic flubbed.
Unique baseball promotions hit an all-time low with 'nobody night.'
They're cracking down on phony 911 calls.
Well, this is useless: poke a penguin or bunny.
It's a shame the daily suck meter stopped a year ago.
Paper learns that nothing pisses Thai people off more than running an ad with their king.
Really good series about the guy who was going to blow up LAX on 2000 new years.
Someone finally had the decency to cut off Margaret Thatcher's head... well, the statue's, anyway.
Fun insights into radio, and some notes on Art Bell, who is weird and wonderful.
Cats are learning to control their owners.
The random masturbation synonym generator.
You'll never guess who loves elephants. Be sure to have the volume on.
And when you're done with that, in fact, just go check out everything on this page.
(my favorites are this one, this one, and this one)
A little role-playing game suddenly turns awkward and real.
This is the face of evil: one of the internet's biggest spammers.
Remember that article about the guy's testicle on the front page? Here's the photo.
This very well could be the world's smallest website.
Here's something unexpected: classical music inspired by Weezer.
Do potato chips and fries really cause cancer?
Ok, no joke, download this little movie. It's a guy who jumps, and it is amazing. Wow-e-wow-wow.
Actual conversation with Roberta, age nine.
Now, this is a guy who knows how to fight telemarketers the legal and impressively effective way.
A giraffe killed a pastor and then committed suicide.
Why is tv news a joke? Oh yeah, because the reporters aren't always reporters.
Want original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle art? It's only one million dollars.
Porkchops and a broken arm: not just another day in a Sydney bar.
Whoops, is that a testicle on the front page of the newspaper?
As this book tries to show, it ain't easy being a conservative. Har.
Nor, apparently, is it easy to be a dumb cow.
Awful times with an electronic security gate.
When there's no rain in India, they marry donkeys.
Tom the Dancing Bug's super-fun-pak comix!
Wonder Woman vs. airport security.
Great answer to the problem, "my man wants me to get breast implants."
Very random: recipes for the dryer.
Go here. This is fantastic. It's a public, all-can-edit page. Very cool.
Lots of information about Vikings.
In This Modern World, crazy fundamentalist zealots unite!
Apparently it's a crime to serve coffee without a cabaret permit.
It's like ebay, but for stolen goods the police are trying to get rid of.
No more soft advice: Ann Landers died.
Clerks -- with superheros. (requires Flash)
The science of superheroes.
Good piece about the woman behind scary violent porn.
Tom the Dancing Bug: is up down?
Bizarre true story of four friends who believed in magic and then killed one of their fathers.
A sketchy program is sniffing out pirated movies.
Insultingly stupid movie physics... debunked.
'Lets Make a Deal' host breaks hip while putting on pants.
Teleporting has taken one step closer to becoming a reality.
This Modern World: Ashcroft vs. the media.
Rolling Stone will be reformatted to suck even more.
30 years later, we wonder: was Pat Buchanan actually Deep Throat?
Nobody can explain what appears to be a giant sea creature.
Kelly Osbourne's "live" MTV performance was fine-tuned before airing.
A high school student received her diploma by threatening legal action.
McDonalds in Hawaii are starting to serve Spam.
Build your own South Park character.
Big brother moves to campus and recruits your friends.
The deadly follies of stick-figure warning people.
This cartoon is offically too popular: the church of spongebob!?
What it takes to be METAL.
Did Bush or did he not ask if Brazil had black people?
Some more of life's little victories.
Cute illustrated short story.
Guy's graduation speech halted after he immitated Chris Farley.
Teacher arrested for prostitution.
The difficulties of being a gossip reporter.
The Beijing Evening News believed and ran an article from the Onion.
Ok, it's sad about this guy's friend, but why is it in this music review?
Why was Brutus (bad guy in Popeye) sometimes called Bluto? Now we know.
A woman took her hair stylist to court for making her look like Osama.
At least he's not lying: origami boulder is a wad of paper.
Want lots of money? Just tell people you're a Saudi prince.
Check that. Want lots of money? Just make it yourself.
Hate standardized tests? Wait until you read about who scores them.
Whoops. Someone forgot to take out those racial slurs in the yearbook.
McDonalds is shelling out 10Million for lying to vegetarians.
This columnist is pissed off about people getting pissed off.
What do you do with a sexually frustrated dolphin?
Kevin Smith is officially morbidly obese, and he's talkin' about his poop.
Former Maxim editor rips Maxim a new asshole.
A wealth of useless information.
Play Lite-Brite online, without those pesky little plastic pieces.
It had to happen sometime: sprinkle on some beer spice.
Combating terrorism with zepplins.
Today the tollbooth attendant felt chatty.
Great article about a 91-year-old Pentagon reporter who hasn't written since 1996.
A little trip down BBS memory lane.
In Georgia, LUVSUX is an inappropriate license plate.
If you can't get rid of your house, have someone blow it up.
Remember the stripper whose daughter was expelled from a Catholic school?
Now she's posing in Playboy.
A child molester is having himself castrated.
Lithuania drops the gynecological tests for women drivers.
The propsal is in for the world's first airborne casino.
Some good ol' fashion Dick Cheney bashin'.
Animals can predict the weather.
News anchor is getting married to the plastic surgeon who did her boobs.
Star Wars freaks are blasting writers that gave the movie a bad review.
The guy who created Mad Magazine's "The Lighter Side of" died.
AT&T's spam-blocker blocked important e-mail from AT&T.
Summary and commentary of the side character Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures.
Spiders in McDonalds hamburger! Woman vomits on car! Ha-cha-cha.
Tom the Dancing Bug: Louis learns about literature aquisition.
Fear not, someone has returned the stolen giant raisin.
If you can't wait for your morning coffee, get the caffine through your soap.
Who's the hypocrite? This animated cartoon finds out.
Here's a guy who takes his security job really serious.
Talkin' about the moviemaking magic of the Godfather.
Bad idea for a promotion: mailing bottles that people think look like bombs.
Lawyers are gearing up to sue fast food companies for America's fat asses.
Police were concerned about a body floating in a lake... until they realized it blew up.
Slightly dangerous senior prank: release 80,000 bees.
Abercrombie & Fitch is running into some trouble over their suggestive underwear for little girls.
The Supreme Court decided that sex shops boost area crime.
Great (and rather brave) column about the male sex drive.
(this is also from the Yale site. the article isn't thematic, but check out the headline)
Shaking up the legal world with the humouse -- a theoretical human-mouse.
A pretty rational rant about the ever-presence of Roger Ebert.
...and then a good piece about working at Brill's Content, which includes Roger Ebert's response.
The anti-drug ads don't work, and the Village Voice wants to know why it's not being reported on.
Fantastic analysis of the governments in Star Wars, and why the Empire maybe isn't so bad.
It's high time somebody corrected Pearl Jam's grammar.
Amusing story of this guy's first kiss.
Not for the squeamish: pictures and info about shark attacks.
New CD "copyright protection" can be easily defeated with a pen or tape. So, burn away!
Instructions on how to fold a $20 bill to see the burning World Trade Center and Pentagon.
Pretty typical trying-to-be-ultra-hip anti-smoking website... but it's called Sluts Against Butts.
This Modern World: A republican's guide the the Enron scandal. (i have friends who argue like this)
An australian gigolo kills his client during "animalistic" sex, then panics and burns her house down.
Derrick Z. Jackson of the Boston Globe says, "America, you are a fatso."
A new study says that the government's anti-drug ads are encouraging kids to do drugs.
WWJD now stands for "What Would Jesus Drive?"
The world of cookbooks took an awful tumble: Ted Nugent has written Kill it and Grill it.
Lots of stuff about mining.
Crazy names for the endless line of Coke products.
This guy has a few things to say about getting his arms ripped off by a polar bear.
This review tears apart Star Wars, and I agree with it all the way. But I still enjoyed the movie.
Why is there a contest to see which little kid has the best handwriting?
A Christian school expeled a kindergarten girl because it doesn't approve of her mother's job.
Having a boy is proven to shorten a mother's lifespan.
The earth is supposedly being bombarded by little things traveling at 900,000 mph.
The Stanford Prison Experiment: what happens when good people go to bad places.
89-year-old man gets stuck in the mud, and decides to take a nap.
Interesting: a government practice test for people seeking citizenship.
Funny every-day-is-a-special-day declarations.
Turn the sound on and enjoy this little ode to yourself.
Consumer Reports sent out a free gift without testing it first, and now have to recall it.
Tom the Dancing Bug and the future/history of SUVs.
My dad makes a good point here. What good is a traffic checkpoint if it's being reported on beforehand?
A monkey mascot with the slogan "free bananas for schoolchildren" was elected mayor in England.
The idiot college kid that got arrested for the pipe bombs has a very crappy rock band. I found mp3s.
Two crematorium workers in Cambodia were arrested (and then released) for eating human fingers and toes.
A comic about Star Wars, fanatics, and philosophy.
No surprise, but Prince Philip said something stupid again.
Why so many ex-lawyers end up writing books.
Overly crass renditions of Family Circus cartoons. (But it's ok, because the Family Circus could use some real-life feeling... it could also benifit from being permanantly cancelled.)
A guy in Jacksonville scammed people with him "magic box" of fast communication.
Guy is accused of stalking Nicole Kidman. She gets a restraining order. He sues her over it.
Some guy's list of things he has argued with his girlfriend about.
Star Wars is officially bad for the economy.
Good essay from a woman who resents men always paying the dinner bill.
How to get a towboat under a low bridge: a photo series.
More talk about how bad Mallard Fillmore is, and I just can't get enough.
It's high time to give a nod to Diddly's Slime Vollyball again. If you're ever bored, go there.
A scientific study of sneering ability.
Science is making robots out of rats. As if that wasn't enough insult, they're calling them "ratbots."
There are some people with some seriously miserable lives.
The Simpsons might be "winding it up," according to Matt Groening.
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation.
How do you get people to watch a television fishing show? Make it Fish'n'chicks.
Top 11 reasons Dubya reported that he fainted while choking on a pretzel. (old news, i know...)
This Modern World and some good ol' fashion Bush bashin'.
You get what you expect at dognoses.com.
London scientists say that the smell of breast feeding turns women on.
Someone stole an inflatable King Kong off a rooftop because, well, why not.
73-year-old busted for walking into a mall with viagra and fudge... with that kind of intention.
Cost of helping an alligator off the highway: one finger.
You know your ballteam is suffering when you start selling tickets to dogs.
Dubya takes evil on with a crazy car manuever (for real... sort of)
Not just America: a Columbine-like shooting just took place in Germany
"Zeta" aliens try to make the distinction between them and other "grey" aliens.
Musician tells judge that, considering he's getting screwed by the label, he wants his music to be free.
Fucked up advice column: Girlfriend asks boyfriend to show his penis to her 11-year-old daughter.
Security cameras are being set up, not to catch crime -- but to predict it.
Everything (and more) that you'd want to know about poop.
Japanese tourists, out of touch for 6 months, unknowingly stroll into an Israeli warzone.
"Panties are for the gals. MANties are for the guys."
History's Notable Persons Reconsidered
Tom the Dancing Bug: Being gay... but who serves the lemonade?
Alligator tries to go to elementary school, and gets stepped on by a custodian.
Guys wrestling in big monster costumes. I must go see this some day.
Hooray to whoever came up with the idea for a Geek Prom.
This Modern World: Things that are not worth the loss of another human life
Man builds a food-eating art-maching to prove that, indeed, art is shit.
Outrageous idea that just happens to have nobody using it: rate your ex.
He's Fuzz: average guy with an action figure.