A funny thing about the deli: old people hang out there. Lots of old people. Old people who want sandwiches and bagels and need their egg salad without mayo but don't understand that egg salad without mayo is a diced egg. They whine. They use coupons. But most important to this story, they like to talk to young people like you.
And so, Banky, you set up a life for yourself, one that I don't even have time to delve into. You speak to an old guy named Ralph who gets you set on playing Bridge with his buddies, and soon enough you're mixing drinks for a group of Vietnam vets who tip you twenty cents and say they "love you long time."
And all because you went to the deli. What a short, short choose-your-own-adventure this has been, Banky.