We stayed at a whack bed-and-breakfast in rural N.H. this weekend. We knew we were in for a good time when we pulled up into the rather large driveway, saw a sign that said, “Park along the edges. Thanks,” then went to the edge of the driveway and saw another sign that said, “Thanks. No parking.”

I’ve stayed in a few B&Bs, and signs seem like a pretty standard thing to have throughout: They’re a way to inform guests of how to work quirky toilets, or where to find some snacks. But this place we stayed at went nuts with the instructional signs. They were everywhere — on the AC (which said, mysteriously, “Our favorite guests”), on the walls, on the TV. On the TV! And they always said, “Thanks.” In the hallway, above a little basket of store-bought snacks and a nearby coffee machine, a sign explained that the items were “50 cents, thanks!” and “75 cents, thanks!” But my favorite was this one:

“Use common sense, you assholes. Tell the kids. Thanks!”